Smart but Evil

Sarah and I had a BLAST running around downtown San Jose as zombies. There were many other zombies at the free movie, but we left early to get drinks. We had a crew of about 10 or so fellow dead and shambled around. It was especially fun harassing the people eating in the restaurants. We would shuffle past the windows doing zombie things, chewing on each other’s arms, trying to eat their brains…

It all started with a fairly innocent purchase on Woot! Two USB rocket launchers for me and Joyce. Then, during the next Woot Off, we had to outfit the whole team. We were good. Fine. All happy.

Then Joyce brought in a spring loaded gun. Sarah and I retaliated with a shotgun (her) and dollar store, single shot dart guns.

Then my boss sends us this link: http://www.metacafe.com/watch/1394288/the_great_office_war/

And Nerf envy was all that colored us. We had to have better weaponry. We HAD to.

And I have to say, I find Nerf guns more fun than anything else I have in years. There’s nothing quite like running around the house or work giggling as you try to sneak up on people and shoot them, only to get shot yourself and then duck away, laughing. I can’t remember ever being so happy. I may need stock in Nerf!

After having people save soda can tabs for me for a year, I decided to finally put them to use. Here’s what I ended up with.

Is it chainmail or is it memorex?

I decided that we needed hats at work for Easter this year. But they couldn’t be just any hats. They had to fit our personalities.

What other kind of Easter bunny is there?

So, in my infinite wisdom and freak desire to do the strangest things, I decided to create a video and apply for the “Best Job Ever” on the great barrier reef. While I realize I don’t have a chance in hell at getting the position, I thought it would be fun to try. We’ll see what happens.

Get the Flash Player to see this player.

I hope all three of my readers will “vote” for me or whatever it is that needs to happen. I’ll put up a link to the video as soon as I know what it is.

Finally, I’ve found the perfect site for meeting better quality men than my previous ones.

Created by Mingle2.com (Dating for non-zombies)

I recently had someone ask me to “define my spirituality”. This is what I decided it is.

I believe in God. I don’t think our brains can quite encompass all that God is and God is different for everyone. I believe that all religions boil down to the basic precept of be good to each other. Be good to those you love, and those who love you (they may not always be the same people). Good does not always mean nice. Laugh at life’s absurdities. Appreciate nature for all her glory, she works hard to show us the mysteries of life. Appreciate man for his creative ingenuity. For good or bad results, we are amazing creatures. Respect and trust are earned, not a free privilege as many assume. Listen.

That’s it. Any more than that, and it gets too complicated to remember.

Please leave a $1 in the basket to save your seat on the train to hell…I mean to save your soul.

It’s Halloween time already. I haven’t even finished posting about my UK trip and now I’m neck-deep in costume creation. Someday, I’ll finish the story. But now, I’m trying to figure out exactly what a “bearzilla” is…

When I got back to the room, Deb still had company…who was sleeping in my bed. Apparently twin beds aren’t conducive to sleeping two, go figure. Without much ado, she chased him out the door. I did ask how it went, but since that’s not my story to tell, I’ll just mention that it didn’t go as well as hoped. Too bad. But I was exhausted and wanted to crash for a few hours, so that’s what we did.

Anyone who knows me knows that I can go without a lot of sleep, especially when I’m on vacation. I really only need a few hours to get recharged. Every once in a while I’ll crash for a good amount of time, but it doesn’t happen often. So, I was up again around 9am, ready to go. I let Deb sleep while I showered, then annoyed her out of bed. She was a bit under the weather again, but not as bad.

Our destination for the day was Parliament and anything within the area of it: Westminster Abbey, the London Eye, Buckingham Palace. We take the Tube and head off, old pros by now. By the time we get there, we need food. I’m starving. But the only place we can find to eat is a noodle house. Not very authentic London food (it was probably better, mushy peas and all that).

Then we walk to get tickets for the London Eye. It’s essentially a huge, slow-moving ferris wheel with a fabulous panoramic view of London.

The line for this is huge, but moving. After a wait, we enter a car and start our gradual ascent. I am not fond of heights. Not afraid, just have great respect for the distance between me and the ground. So this is a bit of a challenge. I’m surrounded by glass on all sides with some great views of the city and nothing but metal and air beneath me. yeah…I tried not to think too much about it.

Still, we got some great pictures.

I think the funniest thing was we posed for the tourist picture they take of people riding the Eye. Most people didn’t pay attention, but we saw the camera and actually posed, then we didn’t bother looking at the print. We were such rude Americans.

After our ride, we walked by Parliament and Big Ben.

Then we head over to Westminster Abbey. Unfortunately, it’s Sunday and there are no tours since people apparently want to go to church or some godforsaken such thing. Feh. But the outside is beautiful.

And very tall.

We walk on to see Buckingham Palace. On the way, I get a picture of my next car.

I really think I need this for Bay Area traffic. Honest.

According to legend (ok the guide book, but it has a legend), the Queen parades through the park the first weekend in June. Strangely, she decided to do it the day before, which was still May. The moral of the story is, we missed it. Still, we saw the palace and the gates and fountain.

And somehow manage to not get any good shots of the palace itself. Bummer.

Then we walk some more, go find food and play in call boxes. The Brits don’t understand why we find these fascinating, but we do.

I got a few strange looks when banging on the door like I was trapped.

Then we went back to our room, slept for an hour and went pubbing. (Yes, it’s a word.) We found the Southwark Tavern, which turned out to be a favorite.

This is where I got my second marriage proposal. I was telling the story to the guys who decided to buy us drinks (that happened a lot, yay!), and Nelson (I could’ve had a Portugal stamp), told me that I should forget the Irish guy because he (Nelson) would make me happy. I have to say, I did consider taking him home, but German dude was still on my mind, though he wouldn’t come out on a school night (nor be tempted, damn it!). So both Deb and I went home empty handed.

Having stayed out until the early morning hours, getting up the next day was difficult to say the least. Not only is jet lag involved, but a slight hang over and lack of sleep to boot. But we were in a new country with things to see and people to do, uh, I mean meet. Honest.

Deb was actually worse for wear than I was. She hadn’t been drinking for a few months (due to a new diet) and had kept pace with me (and the Brits) drink for drink. Let’s just say the porcelain god got more than a few offerings that morning.

After a quick nap on my part and some restorative sleep on Deb’s part, we get dressed, find some food and coffee (coffee!!!!) and decide to do some light sight seeing of the nearby places. We walk to the London Bridge to get some air. The London Bridge is not what you think. It’s just a plain, flat bridge. From it, you can see the Tower Bridge, which is the famous one everyone thinks of when you say London Bridge. We look over the water and take pictures.

We walk along the river’s edge and head toward London Tower. The lines are short, so we get tickets and head in to see the crown jewels (which they won’t let you take pictures of, go figure), the Bloody Tower and other fun historical sites. They even had cos-players acting out scenes from something on the lawn. It was hard to tell what since the sound didn’t carry that well to where we were perched on the wall walk.

And men at that time thought well of themselves…

We then went to visit St. Paul’s Cathedral where both Deb and I lit candles for my Mom.

Then we went back to the room for a nap. Yes, we were tired, though not hung-over anymore.

We got up around 8pm and went to the pub downstairs for dinner. It wasn’t bad, though not rave worthy. We had our first pints, then moved on to the Glad, where we’d had luck before.

Tonight, though, they have a local band with interesting folksy music and a completely different crowd. I call the English German and ask him to come out. He comes, a bit reluctantly (he wanted me to just come over, but like I said, it’s more fun when they work for it) and we crawl the pubs again, hitting a few new ones.

Here, Deb meets an interesting guy. And now the dilemma. We have two destinations. We have one key for the room. So, we walk Deb and her dude (I can’t remember his name, but I didn’t take him home, so it’s ok) back to the hotel, open the door, then head to German’s place. Since I’m not completely schnockered this time, I look around a little. His roommate is either an artiste or a serious hobbyist. I ask, but he’s not sure about what she does. (Apparently, it’s typical to not know your roommates, the way we don’t know our neighbors.)

Another night of fun. I wake up early again (very early) and worry about Deb. I rarely worry about my own safety (I can kick and run with the best of them) but I constantly worry about others. Call it a flaw. So I roll out of bed, get clean up a bit, say goodbye (which was difficult with him looking so cute), head to the Underground and walk into the Twilight Zone.

The gate is closed for the Underground station. I notice this young, sort-of cute guy sitting by a pillar, obviously waiting. So I ask when it opens. He replies, “I think at the half.” That’s only about ten minutes away, so I decide to wait. The young guy offers me a seat next to him by the pillar. I walk over and stand, but he insists, “Come on, have a sit.” So, I sit next to him and start chatting. I learn he’s from Ireland and he tells me his name, but we must all remember my skill with names of random men.

He offers me a drink of whatever he’s got in a bottle, but I decline. It’s 6 o’nothing in the morning! But he’s been awake all night, riding the Circle Line in protest. (The London Mayor outlawed open containers on the Tube, so the locals were up in arms.) Then the conversation goes like this:

Dude: “Are you married?”

Me: “No.”

Dude” “Would you like to be? We could be done in about 15 minutes…”

Me: *laugh* “Um, no, but thank you for asking.”

Then there were a few compliments and he actually leans over for a kiss. I lean away. He tells me his ego has been crushed (somehow I doubt it) and I think, yeah, done here, and go find alternate transportation (a bus, yes, I can actually figure out a bus schedule hung over and sleep deprived. I rock!)

I still wonder what he would’ve done if I’d said yes.